My darling Val.
I was 17 when we met, and so naïve and immature. My father died when I was 12, and my mother had looked after me on her own for the last 5 years. I was very shy, an introvert and had no self-esteem. I blushed if a girl even looked at me. I had a few friends, and enjoyed their company, but I was perfectly content to be on my own. I loved fishing, swimming, sailing and exploring rockpools; what more could a boy want.
And then, at about 8:00 pm on Friday the 28th of September 1956, I saw you standing at the entrance to the pier ballroom and was mesmerised. I knew you were special, and that I had to get to know you, so when you left I followed you. That was it – I didn’t have a plan, I just followed you. Then you got on a bus. Normally that would have been that, and I would have gone home, but the need to know you was overwhelming, and I got on the bus and sat next to you. I probably didn’t say much, but I remember paying your fare.
When we got off the bus we held hands, walked to Donkey Island, and held each other and kissed. And something magical happened. It was as though the sun had come out. Emotionally, I was somewhere I had never been before. I didn’t know what I felt, but whatever it was, it was exciting and wonderful, and I wanted it to last forever. And it has. The excitement and joy of being with you has lived in me every day since the day we met. And it is still in me. I love you, and I still feel that joy and excitement of being with you, but you are not here to share it. It’s like coming home full of anticipation, opening the front door, and then falling into an abyss.
I am so grateful for our time together, and the exquisite love and passion we shared and enjoyed until the end. You taught me so much; important things like how to love and how to be loved - you even taught me how to be me. You are so special, so precious. I have loved you for every minute of every day from the day we met.
We had 66 wonderful years together, 62 of them married, and I have so many wonderful memories. I try to be positive, and think only of the wonderful times we shared: I remember the glorious day we met, Friday the 28th of September 1956, when you changed my life forever. But I also remember Monday 26th of September 2022, that dreadful day 66 years later, when I held you and told you I love you as you died in my arms. My heart is broken, and I can’t pretend it isn’t. I miss you so much.
I can’t bring you back my darling, but how I wish I could, to hold you and feel the warmth and tenderness of your kiss, and to thank you for sharing your life with me. You are the sun, the moon and the stars, my world, my life. You will live forever in my heart and my thoughts. I will love you forever, as I know you have always loved me, and always will.
Until we meet again. Love always, John xxx
This candle was first lit on the 9th of December 2023 and will burn for 225 more days.